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The Day Chester Killed Himself (Scraps 7)

by Bradley Voorhees

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1.
For Michael 04:03
Verse 1: There’s always love. There’s always hope. There’s always a reason never to let go. So then how come you didn’t know? We’re all gonna miss you, and in our hearts, forever, we’ll hold.,. Chorus 1: That smiling wise guy. A guy everybody liked. At 3-sheets, always a sight. And a dad who did it right. I cannot believe he lost his fight! An ‘always up late’ Mike. But who loved the sunshine. Loved admiring the sky. And loved his kids and wife. I cannot believe he ended his life! Verse 2: The cards always felt stacked, due to the system we have. But the love is something that you never lacked. You felt like a burden, though you were not. But you couldn’t take it, so ya took a train off to the great beyond. Chorus 2: You were that smiling wise guy. A guy everybody liked. At 3-sheets, always a sight. And a dad who did it right. I cannot believe he lost his fight! An ‘always upbeat’ Mike. One who loved the sunshine. Loved admiring the sky. And loved his kids and wife. I cannot believe he ended his life! Bridge: You couldn’t help but feel like you were so burdensome. I guess you felt that it’d be safer to just pick up and run. If you were still here I wonder would you have eventually overcome Your demons so you could stick around to actually finish raising your son. Chorus 3: He was that smiling wise guy. The same guy everyone liked. Hosted hilarious late nights. A dad who raised his kids right. I cannot believe he lost the fight! An ‘always up late’ Mike. But who loved the sunshine. Loved admiring the sky. And loved his kids and wife. I cannot believe he ended his life! Chorus 3: He was that smiling wise guy. The same guy everyone liked. Hosted hilarious late nights. A dad who raised his kids right. I cannot believe he lost the fight! An ‘always up late’ Mike. But who loved the sunshine. Loved admiring the sky. And loved his kids and wife. I cannot believe he ended his life!
2.
Verse: I shredded the pages of my journal ‘cause it isn’t a time that I want to remember in my life oh no I created a fantasy and then lived in it ___stick in my head And every now and then I can’t get with it Chorus: I can lose grip quickly at the rate I’m going I can’t seem to think for myself I’ve got people built in I walk all over eggshells so that I spare feelings But I’m no good at helping (I’m no good at helping) I just cannot help you and I wish you were fixed But I know that for you it probably wont ever happen I try to help you but your pain is my prison I’m no good at helping (I’m no good at helping)
3.
I can’t believe I wasn’t recording any of that. Check yourself at the door, it’s very necessary Your over grown mustache is getting scary Your lips are good, they taste like strawberries Yeah, on my..,
4.
So now you’ve packed your shit, and you left You left me broken So you’re gone now, and claim that you’re devastated That you left, and what you did And I’m still sitting here, and I’m broken But you don’t care no You only care that you left, and now you’re hurt because you regret it And I am so sorry that you feel that way When I just want you home When I just want you back But that’s not gonna happen Because you left me here, alone, no And now what am I supposed to do? You left me here, and you left me to pick up the pieces that you left behind And I’m so lonely And I’m so lonely I could cry Oh why can’t get on without you? And why am I here in my heart, in my life, in my house, I am broken I am devastated So why’d I let you back?
5.
Mhmm Filthy minds, that’s what you’ve got Checkin out my pictures like you wanna touch me like that Get your mind out of the gutter oh Unless you can back your talk up Um, but I’ve got a man, and I’m not lookin for an attitude And I got a man, and I’m not lookin for a date with you ‘Cause I’ve got a man, and we’re not lookin for a third wheel ‘Cause I’ve got a man, and we know how to fuckin feel yeah In the gutter oh oh Gutter oh oh Rub yourselves up and down, yeah, oh Do what you want to yourselves, yeah But I’ve got a man who knows where to touch me I don’t need any twinkie ‘Cause I’ve got a man who knows where to rub me, rub me, rub me, oh ‘Cause I’ve got a man who knows where to rub me ‘Cause I’ve got a man and he knows exactly where to touch me ‘Cause I’ve got a man and he knows how I liked to be fucked ‘Cause I’ve got a man and he knows how I want my shh sucked
6.
Woo, Somethings wrong with everything you do Woo, I just wanna get out, I just wanna get out Woo, Hop baby if you wanna get on it Woo, ‘cause you don’t wanna miss this I was like “cool” and “I want you” And I thought you felt that, but I was wrong again Cause you didn’t want this, oh no I don’t know I was thinking about you But I thought there was something special But there was nothing special Woo, Somethings wrong with everything you do Woo, I just wanna get out, I just wanna get out Woo, Hop baby if you wanna get on it Woo, you know you don’t want this Woo, Somethings wrong with everything you do Woo, I just wanna get out, I just wanna get out Woo, Hop baby if you wanna get on it Woo, you know that you want this Woo, Somethings wrong with everything you do Woo, I just wanna get out, I just wanna get out Woo, Hop baby if you wanna get on it Woo, ‘cause you don’t wanna miss this Woo, Somethings wrong with everything you do Woo, I just wanna get out, I just wanna get out Woo, Hop baby if you wanna get on it Woo, ‘cause you know you wanna I thought that you were the one for me, yes I did babe But I know that now you were not the one, you see Cause you didn’t wanna act like you was interested in me, no That’s why I’m left all alone to deal with this, hop
7.
Verse: Cody Rapol, you know I love you You know your videos they bring me such joy. Cody Rapol your videos are adored by the entire gay community. So Cody Rapol go to sleep now you can rest oh so peacefully. And one more thing. Cody Rapol, if you turn gay will you please have gay sex with me? Chorus: Cause Some fight, oh Sumfight, but not me No, I just wanna have gay sex with Cody Some fight, oh Sumfight, but not me No I just wanna have gay sex with Cody The You Tube celebrity
8.
He doesn’t remember me He doesn’t remember me He doesn’t remember me He doesn’t remember me
9.
One Way Road 03:28
La da da. So I’m driving my body (and my heart) can’t take no more; Can’t take no more. My heart is, like, taking me down; down a one way road. That’s how I feel, that’s how I live, how I maintain. So, why when I start going down, I can’t turn around, even if I get lost? That’s just how I’m built. So I must keep along, not looking at no one that pass’ me by. Keep my eye on the highway road, and I am traveling down that road, and there’s nothing anyone can say, ‘cause I’m driving my night away, on a one way road. That’s how my heart goes: Taking me down that one way road, and I can’t turn around (the wrong way) drive down a one way, on a one way road, ‘cause it can’t go. So that ain’t the way I roll. I can’t drive back, even if I start to fire up; even if my engine starts to die and my lights fade, ‘cause I ain’t got no where else to go. Stuck out on a freeway road. Driving at night with my eyes closed. I don’t just know. I can’t drive back the other way around, ‘cause it’s a one way, and I’m stuck in the pouring rain. I can’t go the other way around, ‘cause I am stuck driving down a one way road; A one way road. That’s how my heart goes: Taking me down that damn one way road. So even if my tires burst I can’t slow down. I just drive down the one way road. Even if the road be burning down. I’m still driving down a one way road, ‘cause I can’t drive the wrong way on a one way road; On a one way road.
10.
Dung 00:31
I no longer care about you, or me, or us, or anything. I don’t care about you anymore, not at all.
11.
Danny, I told you that I’ve got a wide range. But you didn’t know that I was serious. You are so cute, and I know that you know it’s true. Yes you do. It is all that you know, and I know you more than even you know you. It’s so true that I’m in love with you. Well, you know, I’m just joking, but it’s hard for me to freestyle a jam while purposely trying to show off my wide, wild range. Oh, and I’m not even close, ‘cause you know I’ve got pipes that’ll make your heart melt. Okay, well that didn’t make much sense, but that’s okay, because at least I know how to make a melody for everyone. Woo you know, you know it’s true, my love, my love, it’s true. It’s true. It’s true. It’s true. You know I love you. There we go again with the ‘I love you’s’ even though it makes no sense, but I will always love you (even though it’s not true. But even still, it sounds cool.)
12.
I’m alone again. It doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m alone again. It doesn’t bother me at all.
13.
Verse 1: I’m lookin for some kind of guy who can love me for me The kind of guy I’m not scared around, to be who I wanna be Wondering if he’s gonna catch on to things that are perfectly.,. Legitimate And wondering, will he ever catch onto the life he don’t want me to lead When it’s perfectly natural to wanna live how I do And no one should be afraid of a relationship like this ya fool Hook: And I tried so hard to make it worth it But in the end I was sacrificing all of me Chorus: And no one should ever have to let go of who they are And no one should be made to feel bad for who they are by the one they love Especially if the other person is claiming they love you unconditionally Only to later admit to that they will never love you fully That’s a lie and I’ve heard it cause I’ve used it It means you don’t love me that way.
14.
You know how it’s done when someone is left unfree You know how it’s done when someone can’t breathe You know how it’s done when your tongue seizes You know how it’s done when I just can’t be me when I just can’t be me I don’t wanna be here If I cannot be me Then I don’t wanna be here If you just cannot see That you ain’t letting me be me
15.
To Reminisce 00:43
Sheba on my left and Jay-Dogg on the right of me Rascal in the center and Bobby on his knees Reggie on my mind as I talk to Sally Right after I call my mom about my day
16.
All I’ve asked for ever is just some time The least you could do is give me some peace of mind I need a guy that’s gonna stand by my side Maybe one day I’ll find that golden find It’s gonna take some pure hard work And some prime dedication yeah But I hope one day to find What I’m in search of I need a guy that stands here beside Me I dunno if I’ll ever find that guy It seems all I do is sit and waste my time And why a guy feels he’s gotta leave me behind As if he can’t ever make up his fuckin mind It’s gonna be a real tough road to travel down And I know this I’m gonna need a dedication from a guy to help me Though it or with it Where is my guy Where’d he go to Why am I hear alone Yes I am Always gonna be alone It seems to happen so easy for other guys Why they wonder why I’ve got a complete fucked up mind Ou ou so long
17.
Can you tell me what I did this time? Can somebody tell me why I’m ‘bout to lose my fucking mind? Can you tell me what it was I did to you this time? Can’t somebody tell me why I’m ‘bout to lose my fucking mind? No. Can you tell me what it is I did to you this time? Can you tell me why I’m ‘bout to fucking lose my mind? Or why I’m bout to lose my mind? You know, you know what you did. You know what you said. And this time not giving up on it. I’m not letting go of anything you said to me.
18.
La da da da da da La da da da da da La da da da da da La da da da da da I’m sorry that I failed everyone I’m sorry that I failed you And I’m so sorry that I failed myself I’m sorry to everyone else I’m sorry that I’ve fallen apart I tried my best to pick up my pieces
19.
My mother doesn’t love me My friends, they all can’t stand me My daughter thinks I’m crazy And my boyfriend, he wont lay me
20.
you have to go

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RIP Chester Bennington & Mike Hess.

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released July 20, 2017

All tracks written, performed, recorded, mixed, and mastered by Bradley Voorhees at Ed Harbst Studios.

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Bradley Voorhees East Syracuse, New York

Who doesn't enjoy an interesting indie artist? Am I good, am I bad? Who knows. Guess we'll all have to wait and see. Yes, "we" 'cause not even I know myself anymore. I think that really comes out in the tunes though. Who knows, perhaps it may be you who can help solve a mystery? Yeah, I like a lot of retro television :D But I'll be there for you, if you're there for me too! Ha ... more

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