All Part of Me

by Vocal B

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about

Was very first album I recorded on my own, in my own home. Great songs/lyrics - but the quality was something to be desired!

credits

released March 5, 2005

All music & lyrics by Bradley Voorhees (Under the stage-name, Vocal B).
except "Internal Affair" lyrics by Bradley Voorhees and SAFYRE.

Song recorded mixed and mastered @ Ed Harbst Studios - but at the time was called "A Stem From Basement Productions"

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Bradley Voorhees New York

Official Bandcamp Profile of gay singer songwriter Bradley Voorhees.
Follow me on Instagram in addition to the social links listed below:
instagram.com/BradleyVoorheez

contact / help

Contact Bradley Voorhees

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Track Name: Don't Know What I Really Want
Verse 1:
I used to think I’d be happy if I were to find a man
And if I were employed it’d take empty time off of my hands
Then I figured all the stress would abandon me and in turn melt away
So I’m sure you can imagine my shock when it didn’t turn out that way
I used to wanna get up early but I’d stay up late
I used to think this country rocked till bush got president

Chorus:
I’d change things in my life to try cheering up
I’d just sit there every time shocked and stumped
Don’t know what I really want
So I threw my ideas out
Waited for a solution to come about

You know what you really want
I don’t want to want to

Verse 2:
I used to try to raise havoc make people think I was crazy
(like I think I am)
Now I really don’t cause I feel infixably insane
I used to think that it was uncool to try to sing a song fastly
My best friend was in love with me so I went to K-Mart one day and proposed to her in a 3 piece suit
(Cause thought I want’d to make her happy)

Chorus:
I’d change things in my life to try cheering up
I’d just sit there every time shocked and stumped
Don’t know what I really want
So I threw my ideas out
Waited for a solution to come about
Track Name: Dislike of Not Knowing
Verse 1:
Do i love you do i hate you do i like you as you are
Will i bus it will i cab it will i ever get a car
Will i always deal with dip shits will it always be this hard
Will i ever meet more people who just love to use their dar

Chorus:
I’m in pain
It’s in my veins
I’m so ashamed
Every time i say my name
So frustrating
Dislike of not knowing
My own feelings
From day to day

Verse 2:
Am i too old am i too young will i be a super star
Do i sing well do i play well should i learn to play guitar
Will i always have depression and from myself feel so far
Will i ever make some money or always have a welfare card

Chorus:
I’m in pain
It’s in my veins
I’m so ashamed
Every time i say my name
So frustrating
Dislike of not knowing
My own feelings
From day to day
Track Name: Urge For the Past
Oh it’s mine and i hate it but i love it
I’ll never trade it not ever cause it’s who i am
It’s my lovers my Bobby my big black friend
It’s my Sallee my best friend since 97
My mother and my daughter my heaven

Chorus:
I love you
Regardless of misfortune
And i don’t care what you think of me
Don’t care what you thought I would be
Thanks for your help in making me
Cause my past is all part of me

Verse 2:
It’s my life style unaccepted gay unfree life
My schooling all the picking oh irony
It’s my father and his yelling and punching me
It’s my trailer down in Lowman the dump creak trees
My apartments the moving my destiny

Chorus:
I love you
Regardless of misfortune
And i don’t care what you think of me
Don’t care what you thought I would be
Thanks for your help in making me
Cause my past is all part of me
Track Name: Dread
Intro:
Confusion
Oh my god
Oh yeah sure
No it’s not
Yes it is
No it’s not
Sure it is

Verse 1:
I dread every morning every single unsure day
Where my brain yanks my thoughts and feeds me lines to say
I dread getting up going to school every day
Cause I fear my professors’d all freak about my grades
I dread growing hair cause it’s so hard to maintain
Sometimes I feel I’d trade stylish dews for braids
I dread making love and it’s sad because I’m gay
My lovers dry spell on my mind it does weigh

Hook:
Oh harmony
Why wont you comfort me
Help fight this irony

Chorus:
The thing that dreads me the most is
Why don’t I enjoy these things
I don’t know myself to be honest
I’m scared cause I’m so messed up in the brain

Intro:
Confusion
Oh my god
Oh yeah sure
No it’s not
Yes it is
No it’s not
Sure it is

Verse 2:
I dread going out to smell the flowers of may
Cause I’ll have to go home eventually
I dread having my kid over on Tuesdays
Cause when she gets here she’s gonna wanna play
I dread being broke as soon as I get paid
It kills me I still blow it like it grows on trees
I dread my big lack of male masculinity
And it’s weird cause I used to like my femininity

Hook:
Oh harmony
Why wont you comfort me
Help fight this irony

Chorus:
The thing that dreads me the most is
Why don’t I enjoy these things
I don’t know myself to be honest
I’m scared cause I’m so messed up in the brain
Track Name: I Wonder
Chorus:
I wonder

Why am i so unsure
Why’m i afraid i’ll crack
Why am i afraid i’ll make a wrong move
And what’s this urge for the past
Why do i feel i have no control
Why do i feel that that’s doom
Why do i have a dislike of not knowing
Must be another letchu

Will I ever get well possibly
I wonder’s that’s a possibility
For me to live invulnerably
Such a change so drastically

Why did I give into the cigarette
You like naporshyaa’s song
Do i have an internal affair
I wonder why you’re like alcohol
Why do i dread my life
Why’m i a castaway
Why’m i always hooked
Who would i be without vocal b
S’life always an elevator ride
How well do i remember me
Why’m i inviting you not wanting to
Oops have i done it again
I wonder why you’re such a fuckin’ asshole
I wonder why i don’t know what i really want
Track Name: Afraid I'll Crack
Verse 1:
I’m sloppy and messy yeah
And spineless with cold feet yeah
And my hands flop at my knees
As I rock steadily yeah
In my chair my eyes weep oh
As I zone out while I speak
And I’m cracking underneath
And I can’t fall asleep

Chorus:
And I’m afraid to crack
I don’t wanna move
Cause I’m afraid I’ll crack
And I don’t wanna lose
And I’m afraid I’ll crack
And I easily bruise
And I’m afraid I’ll crack
It shows in my moods

I’m afraid I’ll crack

Verse 2:
The damage has grown deep yeah
All my insanity
Has truly reached its peak
I lose touch so I creak yeah and
I don’t wanna be yeah
Persuaded easily
Yeah I cringe my teeth while I sing
And this is my destiny

Chorus:
And I’m afraid to crack
I don’t wanna move
Cause I’m afraid I’ll crack
And I don’t wanna lose
And I’m afraid I’ll crack
And I easily bruise
And I’m afraid I’ll crack
It shows in my moods

I’m afraid I’ll crack
Track Name: Wrong Move
Verse 1:
If I didn’t care bout how you’d react
If I didn’t think about you being mad
If I didn’t fear all these things in my path
If I didn’t think move instead of relax
If I wasn’t scared and afraid I would crack
If I didn’t know bout all the ration you lack
If I didn’t know bout your depression and wack

Chorus:
Then I wouldn’t care if I made a wrong move

Verse 2:
If I didn’t fear I’d get chased with an axe
If I didn’t have all of this stress shit at max
If I didn’t predict a brutal deadly impact
If I didn’t assume that you’d plan an attack
If I got balls to move and didn’t fear to come back
If I had to come back due to habitual crap
If I were oblivious to the fact that I slack
If I wasn’t so scared of the dark color black

Chorus:
Then I wouldn’t care if I made a wrong move
Track Name: Unsure
Verse 1:
Please don’t think I’m crazy or think that I am dumb
My admittance is important you know
All the things that I’ve said wrongly all things that I’ve done wrong
I have no control over duh
I know that life gets messy and know some things bout love
I’m egger to share my thoughts
I’ll get down right in depth and I’ll go to extremes
But after I expose it please try not to scream

Chorus:
Nobody cares about you or your heart
Nobody cared about you from the start
Nobody loves that thing you did
So proud of it so masculine
And nobody wants you intimately
You stand there erect so proudly
Nobody wants your dick
Nobody wants your shit
Nobody likes your hair it’s messy
Nobody likes your nails they’re sloppy
Nobody likes your lips
Bitch just deal with it
Nobody likes your clothes they’re 80s
You define dipshit so greatly
Nobody likes your tits
You’ve got to deal with it

Verse 2:
Please don’t get a hard-on
right after what I’ve told
Ignorance is amusing you know
You think that they all like you
You think that you’re the man
You don’t know the shit you have
That’s right they walk about you
Just like they always have
They spread rumors because they can
I’ll sit there and I’ll warn you
despite your attention span
Watch out for those rednecks
they’re not your friends

Chorus:
Nobody cares about you or your heart
Nobody cared about you from the start
Nobody loves that thing you did
So proud of it so masculine
And nobody wants you intimately
You stand there erect so proudly
Nobody wants your dick
Nobody wants your shit
Nobody likes your hair it’s messy
Nobody likes your nails they’re sloppy
Nobody likes your lips
Bitch just deal with it
Nobody likes your clothes they’re 80s
You define dipshit so greatly
Nobody likes your tits
You’ve got to deal with it
Track Name: Always Hooked
Verse 1:
Unlike normal people you see
I choose to kiss hug and love everybody
And to give them up is hard for me
I dance around to spare feelings
I’m a puppet I live life blind
People tug me left and they tug me right
I choose to be this guy on a string
To spare my so called friends bad dreams

Hook:
Try to make this quick for me
I can’t think or speak
You try to live life vulnerably
Then you’ll live almost like me

Chorus:
Jerk my monkey
Bruise my knees
Tear my ass up
And suck on me
I wont crush or bleed
Scream or cry
I don’t have a mind
That’s why

Verse 2:
Loving someone when they’re in love with me
Causes somewhat of a problem and also jealousy
And when I try to make friends
That’s all I seem to get
I go to bed alone and wake up someone’s in my bed
It’s hard to get them out after the night we shared
They are so cool and I’d be alone and scared
So keep them around and then their words turn unfair
But it’s too late I’m already mentally bared

Hook:
Try to make this quick for me
I can’t think or speak
Try to live life vulnerably
And you’ll live almost like me

Chorus:
Jerk my monkey
Bruise my knees
Tear my ass up
And suck on me
I wont crush or bleed
Scream or cry
I don’t have a mind
That’s why
Track Name: No Control
No control obviously here now
My head does what it wants
It never gets me sane
My heart has no strings attached to logic in my life
My heart gets broken so easily

And I don’t miss it when it’s gone for 5 minutes
And it doesn’t stay gone long oh yeah

No control over any emotion I have
No control no control no control

Peer out my window to see the world at its brightest
Standing right in the darkness looking out at what I want
Sitting in the dark looking out I see a life that I want for me
But knowing inside my mind heart and soul I’ll never have it

I’m alone in my thoughts in my dark right in my house
I’m alone when it comes to expressing myself
No one ever understands

No control
No control over my emotions oh
No control over expressing myself
No control

No control over anything that I do and say
No control over explaining just what makes me ticks
No control over anything in that in general
No control
No control
Track Name: Doom
Verse 1:
You know you act just like me dude | You know it’s true
As you’re laughing it up you’re hoping that you wont be screwed
But you know as well as I do that you’ll be just like me soon
No sense in trying to fight it | Just face the fact that you are through

Hook:
The irony, the undelight, the look of uncool
I say the spell-like trance, the urge to die, and all the bad moods
Oh well. The wondering, analyzing, the temper in you
You get the shits, no sleep, the headaches, and the jitter shakes too

Chorus:
Oh oh oh
Oh meet Doom
He’s after you
He’s got me too
Dreaded all
All this doom

Verse 2:
You know that you’re in trouble now so factually
I pray you know how to live life oh so modestly
And if you try to tell them then they will laugh at you honestly
Your best bet is to sit there and try to live life so chronically

Hook:
The irony, the undelight, the look of uncool
I say the spell-like trance, the urge to die, and all the bad moods
Oh well. The wondering, analyzing, the temper in you
You get the shits, no sleep, the headaches, and the jitter shakes too

Chorus:
Oh oh oh
Oh meet Doom
He’s after you
He’s got me too
Dreaded all
All this doom
Track Name: Done it Again
Verse 1:
Met somebody new again
You were not afraid of it
Weren’t really expecting shit
When you got thrown in the mix
When you just wanted a new click
He just wanted his balls licked
Wanted to feel your lipstick
But you weren’t really feeling him

Hook:
You ain’t right you little ho
You acted so irrational
You dodge people everywhere you go
Cause you’re afraid they all know

Link:
Lipstick smeared across your face
Burning in between your legs
Brush burn all up on your knees
Hair thrown all over the place
Lipstick smeared across your face
Burning in between your legs
Brush burn all up on your knees
Hair thrown all over the place

Chorus:
Done it again

Verse 2:
Found yourself a new friend
Started all over again
Hotel at 11
This guys name is Melvin
Melvin’s got his own friend
He knows you don’t know it
Wonder what will happen
When you sleep with Melvin

Hook:
You ain’t right you little ho
You acted so irrational
You dodge people everywhere you go
Cause you’re afraid they all know

Link:
Lipstick smeared across your face
Burning in between your legs
Brush burn all up on your knees
Hair thrown all over the place
Lipstick smeared across your face
Burning in between your legs
Brush burn all up on your knees
Hair thrown all over the place

Chorus:
Done it again

Bridge:
Wonder what you’re thinking
Just came from the clinic

Hook:
You ain’t right you little ho
You acted so irrational
You dodge people everywhere you go
Cause you’re afraid they all know

Link:
Lipstick smeared across your face
Burning in between your legs
Brush burn all up on your knees
Hair thrown all over the place
Lipstick smeared across your face
Burning in between your legs
Brush burn all up on your knees
Hair thrown all over the place

Chorus:
Done it again
Track Name: Inviting You Not Wanting To
Chorus:
In my life that is the way it goes
Inviting you not wanting to
Inviting you not wanting to
All my days that is the way it goes
Inviting you not wanting to
Inviting you not wanting to
Track Name: Who Would I be Without Vocal B
Verse 1:
Here I am again
1 and a half months since Writers-Block-Depression
2 months after starting my computer album
7 months after writing “Clarification”
At 8 months I started liking Linkin Park albums
9 months since I heard about Matthew Sheppard
10 months past writing the “I Lose” collection
10 and a half since I last listened to Herman
11 since I started getting disgustingly hit on
12 months past the “Tweaking Insanity” one
1-and-a-half years since the start of my One-Week-Loves
2 years since I made my debut rap album
3 since Jeannie and Vocal B’s show at the Common Ground
And 3 and a half since I seen the studio
4 years since I got the keyboard I own
5 years, I had wrote my first song for my daughter
5-and-a-half since I wrote “Tape 8” off the old ones
Also when I started liking Eminem hardcore
5-and-three-fourths since my first song with Jeannie
6 years since I wrote about my dog in heaven
6-and-a-half since the beginning of depression

Chorus:
Who would I be without Vocal B

Verse 2:
Here I am again
7 years since I sang and wrote a Reggie love song
8 since I wrote about moving out too young
Also the first Base and Vocal B songs
9 years since I purchased No Doubt’s “Tragic Kingdom”
9-and-a-fourth since I first fell in love
Also the year I had made all of my videos
9-and-a-half years since I started rockin’ to Alanis
9-and-three-fourths since I wrote “She Knows”
10 years since I bought Joan Osborne’s “Relish”
11 years ago, my first trip to the studio
11-and-three-fourths I wrote “Got Me Goin’”


12 years ago I wrote I wrote “Happy Life”
12-and-one-fourth I recorded with Chrystal
12-and-a-half I wrote “I Know”
13 years ago I called myself The Bluez Boy
14 years ago I started liking Ace of Base
18 years ago my parents bought me my first keyboard
As a child I’d always hear my parent’s tapes; Bon Jovi, Boston, Dr Hook, and Michael Jackson, Madonna, Motley Crue, and Tone Lok too.
I remember my mother singing me “Last Kiss”

Chorus:
Who would I be without Vocal B
Track Name: I Remember
Intro:
Don’t go

Verse 1:
Sitting here with a full life
I feel so empty inside
Pretend that I am with you
Makes me so full of life

Hook:
I am incomplete though
I want you now to understand
I can’t get along without you man
I am lost in a daydream of you
With everything you do
And all the things you are put me in awe

Chorus:
I remember you
I remember us

Midtro:
Don’t go

Verse 2:
Crying here broken hearted
I’m like the dead but I’m alive
Knowing that you’re so close
Yet you’re so far from my life

Hook:
I am incomplete though
I want you now to understand
I can’t get along without you man
I am lost in a daydream of you
With everything you do
And all the things you are put me in awe

Chorus:
I remember you
I remember us

Chorus:
I remember you
I remember us
Track Name: You're Like Alcohol
Chorus:
You’re like alcohol
you make me feel good
while I’m doing wrong
And I know that I should
Try to be strong
I keep taking you in
You keep messing me up
You’re like alcohol

Verse 1:
Ever since the day we started hanging
People look at me like I’m not the same
Everyone’s always got something to say
And everyone knows I hate head-games
Can’t they see that you’re now a part of me
Why won’t they just let me live my life
Everyone say me suck you up
You’re like alcohol

Chorus:
You’re like alcohol
you make me feel good
while I’m doing wrong
And I know that I should
Try to be strong
I keep taking you in
You keep messing me up
You’re like alcohol

Verse 2:
Ever since the first pick-up line you used
I’ve been helplessly devoted to you
Everyone saw the shit that I fell for
While I got in trouble you hid behind doors
But I kept coming back to you
Not really wanting to
Everyone saw me suck your stories up
You’re like alcohol

Chorus:
You’re like alcohol
you make me feel good
while I’m doing wrong
And I know that I should
Try to be strong
I keep taking you in
You keep messing me up
You’re like alcohol

Chorus:
You’re like alcohol
you make me feel good
while I’m doing wrong
And I know that I should
Try to be strong
I keep taking you in
You keep messing me up
You’re like alcohol

Bridge:
No one ever gave him a chance to speak openly
He got so mad it seemed that he gave up so easily
He was this little white boy with no joy and no feelings
This boy with his dealings a toy for the appealing
He was always shut down by the punks with no remorse
It’s tough to be off course when you’re stuck outside with closed doors
Everywhere he went even the people he knew
They never stopped to help him or ask what he’d been through
You couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse
He wouldn’t forgive you
He never believed you, He didn’t even trust you
He hated you, Fuck you!!
All he ever wanted in his life was love from you
But the situation wasn’t right and now he’s above you
So how’s it feel to look up to the one you through mud to
I’d go on with your life you dumb-ass if I was you
Cause I really hope you know you’re so not cool

Chorus:
You’re like alcohol
you make me feel good
while I’m doing wrong
And I know that I should
Try to be strong
I keep taking you in
You keep messing me up
You’re like alcohol
Track Name: Elevator Ride
Verse 1:
You said you were never gonna hurt me you arrogant shit
How dare you forget about me, forget about this
When I tried to give you less you always took too much
Now I am vulnerable so you walked out you fuck yo fuck you
Who cares if your arms aren’t around me I’ll get a love somewhere else
Piss off I don’t need your shit man go on with your slow ass
What’s up man I don’t even care now fuck off and get out
Yo dude your head just spun around

Chorus:
I’m sick of this elevator ride
You bring me up and then you take me down
I’m sick of this elevator ride
Why did I ever let you come around

Verse 2:
I know now I never really needed you I was just dumb
I sacrificed my whole life for you I gave it all up
At the time though I didn’t really see that I guess I’ve grown up
And now I don’t need your so called love
Peace out bro really nice knowing ya you and I are done
Find yourself a dumb-ass dude man I really wish you luck
Maybe the 2 of you might get along or he might just fuck your ass up

Chorus:
I’m sick of this elevator ride
You bring me up and then you take me down
I’m sick of this elevator ride
Why did I ever let you come around

Bridge:
All the little bitches that been waitin for me
Smokin trees up in the hills and out on the streets
Well I don’t bring peace but I do bring the heat
And if you don’t like it you can come get a piece of me ya freak
Think you can take me? Man please, I’ma call you out next time I speak
Stank ass you reak use purfume on your pads
And when you shit don’t forget to wipe your hiney ya ass
Ya think I’d be nice cause I’m small and white
Why should I be nice when you gave me shit my whole life
Here ya’ll little bitches ya wanna suck my dick?
I’ll make arrangements for every little lick
Let me write this shit down real quick
Wait your resume says you already have experience
Damn I didn’t know that. It also says here you get fucked in the ass
What? Vocal B’s back with whole new shit
After a whole 12-pack I gotta foul mouth lip
I’m as hot as the rest
My rhymes are the best
Pen in hand I invent
So I always stay fresh

Chorus:
I’m sick of this elevator ride
You bring me up and then you take me down
I’m sick of this elevator ride
Why did I ever let you come around
Track Name: Naporshyaa's Song
Verse:
Not everything in my life was going right
Then you came along and now everything has meaning in my life
I wish I could show you to the world
Tell everyone you’re daddy’s little girl my sunshine, sunshine

Hook:
Everyone knows how much I love you
Baby it shows how much I overprotect you, you

Chorus:
You opened me up
To show you my love
You’re bright as the sun
When the daylight comes
Every single day
I wanna see your face
When you smile I’m happy
When you cry my heart breaks
Track Name: Internal Affair
Verse 1:
This fire that burns within me
I must let you go or I at least must let you see
I’m weakening under the mind that keeps me sane
I could have anybody so consider yourself lucky

Hook:
And I tried my hardest to give you more pleasure
And I gave into you far more than I should have
I keep on pretending I’m happy when I’m not
You’ve got my mind running through mazes in my head
I saw no beginning and I can’t see an end
I only fight this internal battle to
satisfy all of my needs so try not to push me
I’m begging you not to I’m begging you please

Chorus:
Or I’ll scream for release desperately let me be
Can’t you see I’ve got means You can’t satisfy my needs
What you are’s not close to what you used to be
What you’ve becomes something I’ll never relate to
I don’t understand you What happened to you dude
Hope you don’t think you’re cool Hope you don’t think you’re cool

Verse 2:
I thought your love would be like the water
(That sprays straight out the hose)
You put all of the flames out
(That I could not control)
Instead you are the gas that pours everywhere I go
The things that you do kill me inside
(Just thought I’d let you know)

Hook:
And I tried my hardest to give you more pleasure
And I gave into you far more than I should have
I keep on pretending I’m happy when I’m not
You’ve got my mind running through mazes in my head
I saw no beginning and I can’t see an end
I only fight this internal battle to
satisfy all of my needs so try not to push me
I’m begging you not to I’m begging you please

Chorus:
Or I’ll scream for release desperately let me be
Can’t you see I’ve got means You can’t satisfy my needs
What you are’s not close to what you used to be
What you’ve becomes something I’ll never relate to
Hope you don’t think you’re cool

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