Black X

by Vocal B

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03:37
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about

2nd home-recorded album.

This album has an official page on my official website at: album.bradleyvoorhees.com/02

credits

released May 12, 2005

Music & Lyrics Solely By: Bradley Voorhees (As Vocal B).
All tracks recorded mixed and mastered at A Stem From Basement Productions, by Bradley Voorhees (As Vocal B).
Except track 2, co-mixed with SAFYRE.

Photography: Nitro.
Album Design: B. Voorhees.
A&R "Simply Influenced" SAFYRE & Nitro.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Bradley Voorhees New York

Official Bandcamp Profile of gay singer songwriter Bradley Voorhees.
Follow me on Instagram in addition to the social links listed below:
instagram.com/BradleyVoorheez

contact / help

Contact Bradley Voorhees

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Track Name: Surrendering All of Me
Verse 1:
It aint anybody’s job to fix up my head
It aint anybodies job to fix up this mess
I know no one can relate
This should be nobody’s fate
So damn hard to explain the way I think

Chorus 1:
Fearing everything that comes my way.
I don't see my thoughts justified.
What I fought to make I can’t escape and now I'm lost inside.
And I can't see why I made you mine.
I gave you my eyes solely so you could see how I feel and what I believe.
And now you've turned on me and I’ve lived so blindly.
I've lost all parts of me. Underneath I'm incomplete.
I'm down on my knees begging to be free.
Your wrath has captured all that I see.
No soul of mine dwells in me.
I'm all that you made me.
And now I’m surrendering all of me.

Verse 2:
This should be nobody’s fate
to stand around and wait
for me to remember me before I went insane.
I can't ask no one to stay
to watch this shadow try to find his way
into the warm light of day.
Back to the happy place.

Chorus 2:
Scared of everything that comes my way.
Can’t escape what I can't escape.
What I fought to make I can’t escape.
And now I’m lost inside.
I want to come alive.
I made you mine.
And then I made you cry.
So I don’t think that you should see me live this way
And watch me fall away.
Watch my soul get replaced.
Watch my fate turn to fake.
I’ve lost the will to proceed in this life.
All you see I am down on my knees
Begging to be free
Your wrath has captured all that I see.
No soul of mine dwells in me.
I'm all that you made me.
I’m surrendering all of me.

All of me yeah, all of me, all of me, surrendering
Track Name: Scared
Intro:
What to say here? I’m scared of hello because I’m scared of goodbye. I’m scared to let love in

Verse 1:
I stand alone inside my room
Wondering if I’ll ever have you
Mesmerized by your touch
Captivated by your unseen love
And I feel that I think too much
And in my heart I’ll never give up

Hook:
My mind is racing
My heart is breaking
My legs are shaking
And I’m finally awakening

Chorus:
And I’m scared to try
I’m afraid that I’ll die
If you laugh at me
If you turn to leave
Oh baby I don’t think I
will ever let you in
On my love’s crisis
I’m scared to let you in
‘cause I’m scared of goodbye

Verse 2:
I pass you by in the hallway
So I turn to look and I catch your eye
And you waved and I just let you fly on by
Never even saying so much as a word of goodbye

Hook:
My mind is racing
And my heart is breaking
My legs are shaking
I’m finally awakening

Chorus:
And I’m scared to try
I’m afraid that I’ll die
If you laugh at me
If you turn to leave
Oh baby I don’t think I
will ever let you in
On my love’s crisis
I’m scared to let you in
‘cause I’m scared of goodbye
Track Name: If You Were Me
Verse 1:
And life was so much easier
When I wasn’t always upset
And time went so much faster
‘Cause I always had so much fun

Chorus:
But I, no I don’t have shit anymore
And now, now my whole life’s become a bore
Is there ever gonna be anything, anything more
What would you do if you were me?

Verse 2:
And life was like heaven
When I still had my sex-appeal
But times they are a changin’
I think I have to learn to deal

Chorus:
Cause I, no I don’t have shit anymore
And now, now my whole life is a bore
Is there ever gonna be anything, anything more
What would you do if you were me

Bridge:
What, tell me what would you do
If you were me, if you were me
Track Name: Black X
Hook 1:
Didn’t you think it’d be that way
‘Cause I never knew that it’d be that way
Why do people hurt me
I forced myself to close you out
Why do people hurt me
And now I’ve forced you out

Verse 1:
Every time I give my heart away it ends up broken
Each and every time I get you to stay my eyes awaken
Every single time you start to leave oh I start shaking
That’s why my mind’ll never be at ease I gotta keep my baby

Hook 2:
I didn’t know that this would happen the way it did
When you do me wrong
When you sing sad songs
Don’t I seem to shut you out
And now that you’re gone
I’m left alone to sing this song
Didn’t you think
Didn’t you think before you spoke
Didn’t you think
Didn’t you think before you acted

Verse 2:
Every time we have an episode I wanna be alone
But each and every time I lay alone I need you to come home
Every single time you bare your soul I wish I didn’t know
That’s why this case of ‘us’ cannot be closed I gotta keep my baby

Hook 3:
Why didn’t you know
Why didn’t you know
In the verses that I’ve sang
All the things that I am
Why didn’t you know
Why didn’t you know
And now I’m left alone
‘Cause you didn’t know
You never knew me
And now you’ve got a black X through your name
Track Name: Deprived of Goodbye
Verse 1:
I sit questionful yet still answerless
I am pitiful how’d it come to this
I’m in a crying mood I miss my life with him
Only hours passed since my break from him

Hook:
Who would I be to let you back in
Where to draw the line on a number of chances

Chorus:
Deprived of goodbye
Now all is done
Deprived of goodbye
I have no home

Verse 2:
I sit angerful and also happy
I sit sorrow-filled yet no tears are seen
I’m in a closed up trance after this last chance
I’m at my breaking point with no time to relax

Hook:
Who would I be to let you back in
Where to draw the line on a number of chances

Chorus:
Deprived of goodbye
Now all is done
Deprived of goodbye
I have no home

Deprived of goodbye
Deprived of goodbye
Track Name: Can't Compare
Verse 1:
I can’t speak
I can’t walk
I can’t act
And I can’t talk
I’m getting fat
My tan is gone
My eyes are shot
And my mind is lost
My hairs falling out
My nose is getting big
My small lips always pout
I know I’ve turned to shit
I’ve gotten ignorant
I act so bad straight from bliss
One big ass ain’t got no hips
Turn you off as I swing my wrists

O-Chorus:
I know I’m oh so gross
I’m a trashy flake I know
I see why I don’t have you, no
It makes sense what I’ve been told
Retarded sped ignorant you know
“Faggot B” I’m nobody’s hero
I’m a lost cause a repulsive ho
I can’t compare to any of you

U-Chorus:
Sit like a man
Walk like a man
Act like a man
Talk like a man

Verse 2:
I can’t sit
I can’t stand
I can’t look
And I can’t rap
Always crying
I’m always fighting
I’m also tiring
And my perspiring
My annoying traits
My constant mistakes
My odd figuring
And lack of reasonings
My talk-back tendencies
Overstepping boundaries
Hair-shameful colorings
My lack of money

O-Chorus:
I know I’m oh so gross
I’m a trashy flake I know
I see why I don’t have you, no
It makes sense what I’ve been told
Retarded sped ignorant you know
“Faggot B” I’m nobody’s hero
I’m a lost cause a repulsive ho
I can’t compare to any of you

U-Chorus:
Sit like a man
Walk like a man
Act like a man
Talk like a man

Bridge:
Wont you go already
‘cause I will always know
Please just leave
Track Name: Live That Way
Verse 1:
You gave me spirit when I felt like such shit
And you made me aware of more than miserableness
You dig all I hated about me whether truth or not
You lied to make me feel good each and every time on the spot

Hook:
Desperate times call for desperate measures
I’ve learned I don’t need your lie-ful pleasures
All I really wanted was some really hot lips
I am co-dependent I can’t seem to change it

Chorus:
You let me live that way
And that nothing about me needed to change

Verse 2:
You used that hot bod to mesmerize me
So that I’d give into all that you wanted like money
You still bring out my smile though that you’ll never know
You manipulate everything I was smart to let you go

Hook:
Desperate times call for desperate measures
I’ve learned I don’t need your lie-ful pleasures
All I really wanted was some really hot lips
I am co-dependent I can’t seem to change it

Chorus:
You let me live that way
And that nothing about me needed to change
Track Name: Overgiving
Intro:
Dude, I so don’t know what happened to me. But I think that I’ve changed, and I’ve become soft, and I think that I might need a little bit of counseling. Just a little

Verse 1:
I gave and I waited for you my love
Hesitated then okayed it for you my love
Real tough time
Distinguishing what is right

Hook:
I waited for you oh so patiently all the time
I saved everything for you for you tonight

Chorus:
Overgiving am I
Overgiving am I
Overgiving am I
Overgiving am I

Verse 2:
I stayed and replayed these last 5 months in my mind
I think I’ve realized that I love you but not like
We really fucked “us” up
And I decided that it’s not really all my fault

Hook:
I waited for you oh so patiently all the time
I saved everything for you for you tonight

Chorus:
Overgiving am I
Overgiving am I
Overgiving am I
Overgiving am I

Bridge:
How long am I gonna fuckin give
Will you always treat me like shit
How long am I gonna live like this
Will you ever appreciate it
How long to me will you be missed
Will I ever call you and give in
I don’t like these graves that I dig
Why is no one there when I need them

Chorus:
Overgiving am I
Overgiving am I
Oh yeah
Track Name: Misjudged You
Intro:
A moment of silence for your child

Verse 1:
They say time heals you in the end
And I never wanna lose your love again
You left me ‘cause you said that we grew apart
I thought friends were supposed to always love you

Hook:
I guess I misjudged you
I gave you way too much credit

Chorus:
Your friendship was a waste of my time
Your so called truths they all became lies
What the hell was I thinking back then
Silly to believe you were capable of being my friend

Verse 2:
They say heart is the soul of music
And good times are all built around it
So I took that and I held onto it
But without my friends who’s here to hear it

Hook:
I guess I misjudged you
I gave you way too much credit

Chorus:
Your friendship was a waste of my time
Your so called truths they all became lies
What the hell was I thinking back then
Silly to believe you were capable of being my friend
Track Name: Run From Him Faster
Verse 1:
I’ll never love that way again
I really never stood a chance
I’d go over to your house late at night
I’d sit on the wall and sing you a lullaby
Romance like that happens in the movies
It’s like my movie in which you are starring
Never cared but always there to remind me
Not scared to walk by me without talking
Now I think I’m ruined for a lifetime
You were truly truly really truly not right
I could be the hottest guy and you’d still not be mine
Bounce my head off floors and walls that night of the crime
I sang “locked up but innocent in God’s eyes”

Chorus:
Reggie Blanford
Rascal the Rapper
What a disaster
Run from him faster

Verse 2:
I kick my ass when I’m reminiscing
Hard to think that guy was actually me
I’d sit and wonder what you were like in bed
I’d practice techniques to give you the right head
Dudes like me don’t come around that often
Ones who’ll give everything for a love like this
Never understood what you really wanted
I shut myself down if I have to be honest
On real hot nights I feel like I’m reminded
Of my love for you when we were only teenage kids
Could have made the hottest couple south of the bridge
Cried my ass off thinking bout you all the damn time
Picturing us made me lose the rest of my mind

Chorus:
Reggie Blanford
Rascal the Rapper
What a disaster
Run from him faster
Track Name: Keep on Goin'
Intro:
What’s going on baby? Just got home from class. What you packing baby? You doing laundry or something? Baby wait. Where you going? Baby Yo! [Door slamming shut]

Verse 1:
Tiptoeing horrified, slowly
I’m breathing so hard and, rhythmically
I’m shaking deep down within me
I’m giving in so much and, gracefully
I’m making up for my ways
Trying to fix all of my mistakes
So I don’t end up alone and insane
‘Cause I need you to stay
Yes I need you to stay

Chorus:
I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind the weight I’m pullin
When you’re down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind this weight I’m pullin
When you’re down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind the weight I’m pullin
When you are down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind this weight I’m pullin
When you are down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

Keep on goin
Keep on goin

Verse 2:
I’m crying when you’re not looking
Keep all my fears inside
I’m trying my best to keep us alive
I sleep so good at night
I’m giving my all just to keep you well and satisfied
So I don’t lose you one night and become dead inside

Chorus:
I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind this weight I’m pullin
When you are down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind this weight I’m pullin
When you are down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind this weight I’m pullin
When you are down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

I’m gonna keep on goin
Don’t mind this weight I’m pullin
When you are down I will notice
It’ll make me keep on goin

It’ll make me keep on goin
Keep on goin'
Track Name: Selfish Am I
Verse 1:
I’ve learned my lesson now can I be free
To grow from my mistakes what can I say

Hook:
So many reasons why I cannot understand myself
And the thoughts I’ve got up in up in my head
Continuing ignorance of self and surroundings
Continuing scares and fears got my heart pounding

Chorus:
Listen to this song as I whine
How selfish am I
Should sing about pain other then mine
This song should be labeled asinine

Verse 2:
Addictions all one right after another
My frequent overwhelming big time freaks out

Hook:
So many reasons why I cannot understand myself
And the thoughts I’ve got up in up in my head
Continuing ignorance of self and of my surroundings
Continuing scares and fears got my heart pounding

Chorus:
Listen to this song as I whine
How selfish am I
Should sing about pain other then mine
This song should be labeled asinine

Listen to this song as I whine
How fucking selfish am I

Listen to this song as I whine
How selfish am I
Should sing about pain other then mine
This song should be labeled asinine
Listen to this song as I whine
How selfish am I
I should sing about pain other then mine
This song should be labeled asinine
Track Name: Surrendering All of Me (Acappella)
Verse 1:
It aint anybody’s job to fix up my head
It aint anybodies job to fix up this mess
I know no one can relate
This should be nobody’s fate
So damn hard to explain the way I think

Chorus 1:
Fearing everything that comes my way.
I don't see my thoughts justified.
What I fought to make I can’t escape and now I'm lost inside.
And I can't see why I made you mine.
I gave you my eyes solely so you could see how I feel and what I believe.
And now you've turned on me and I’ve lived so blindly.
I've lost all parts of me. Underneath I'm incomplete.
I'm down on my knees begging to be free.
Your wrath has captured all that I see.
No soul of mine dwells in me.
I'm all that you made me.
And now I’m surrendering all of me.

Verse 2:
This should be nobody’s fate
to stand around and wait
for me to remember me before I went insane.
I can't ask no one to stay
to watch this shadow try to find his way
into the warm light of day.
Back to the happy place.

Chorus 2:
Scared of everything that comes my way.
Can’t escape what I can't escape.
What I fought to make I can’t escape.
And now I’m lost inside.
I want to come alive.
I made you mine.
And then I made you cry.
So I don’t think that you should see me live this way
And watch me fall away.
Watch my soul get replaced.
Watch my fate turn to fake.
I’ve lost the will to proceed in this life.
All you see I am down on my knees
Begging to be free
Your wrath has captured all that I see.
No soul of mine dwells in me.
I'm all that you made me.
I’m surrendering all of me.

All of me yeah, all of me, all of me, surrendering

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